This is why I love technology! I find email readings Incredibly intuitive, because you are there all by yourself, just your mind, your intuition, and your cards. Then I send my reading and cross my fingers that it will make sense. As well as the reading, I have included my Querent’s feedback at the bottom of the post.
“So, what will bring me closer to letting go of what no longer works?”
I did your reading in three stages, because I found it complex and intriguing. I got a distinctive impression of an individual with two very distinctive sides to herself: one, the professional, family, real life commitments person, who is experienced, practical and dependable; the other, an inner, soft, creative C that you left behind in your late teens or early twenties, in order to be operate successfully in the real world. I think that, for a time now, this younger self has been stirring again and wanting to come out, because it’s a fundamental source of strength and inspiration for your more public self. But you fear the disruptive effect that this could have in the life that you have built. You acknowledge privately, but keep,it away from others. Fear not, listen to this younger, playful voice.
Overview impression: hard work is not longer enough, it may have lost direction somewhat. An inner stirring, a need for something softer, more creative and less practical, a more artistic voice? You may be feeling constrained by your professional commitments, where you must be very focused, rational, methodical, bureaucratic… This is exhausting you and you have been feeling overwhelmed for a while. Unfortunately, people around you demand this side of you and you feel trapped in an identity that feels limiting. You are very good at it and many depend on you, but it’s at the expense of another, more free flowing, creative side that has always existed, but that you have put on the back burner for years.
Oddly, this “other” you is very strong and gives you enormous drive from behind the stage of life. It nurtures and reaffirms you by giving you a less conventional, more creative way of doing things in your everyday life. It has helped you solve problems like a semi secret source of strength and inspiration. If only you could bring it more to the fore! It has a lot to do with other aspirations that you have, maybe fiction writing or some other form of creative practice.
Actually, I think that this artistic side of you is well established and known, but you need to give it more time and space. It’s as if you nurture it secretly, but it would be better, and would bring you much confidence, joy and a more rounded sense of a fulfilled life, if you brought it more to the fore. There’s even a hint that it might be beneficial for your more “serious” side. You that they both don’t blend together, but they do, more than you give it credit for.
Bringing out this other interests is not a short term project, or something I’d advise you to jump to immediately. It needs time, to find its place in the complexity of your life and the people around you.
Like so many of us, you are longing to let go of many of your real life commitments, work, family, mostly work and professional connections, to do something more personal. To explore a side of you that you relate to very strongly and gives you great strength and confidence, but that for some reason, maybe purely practical, you have chosen to keep on a second plane. The word here is CHOSEN. You can also choose to give it more relevance, but you are unsure about the effect this could have in your life, if it could be too disruptive or upsetting.
And o wonder. I see opposition or blocks from people around you, that don’t want you to make risks. People who are equals to you, but that you are in some sort of competition or battle of wills with. This is because they need you to be responsible and organised, for their own good and benefit. You can’t take a break without being made to feel guilty or irresponsible. I think that you may have issues with delegating and may have created a certain environment of people who are codependent. this has been going on for a very long time, and how do you change that now?
You need to address this issue of codependency or of old habits that don’t work anymore. It may be family related or, work related, or maybe both, if you have a tendency to codependency. You can’t help being the indispensable one, but it may have become a prison. You want to evolve and be free from these commitments.
So in order to let go of what no longer works, I think that you need to identify the people and circumstances that have become codependent. Acknowledge that they can survive without you and that you can delegate on others. Also, to give up on what it’s taking too much mental energy and give yourself space.
You may also been fearing a fall from grace from your status. Compromising what you ave worked long and hard for is no joke and you may have fears of “coming out” as an individual very different to the one people around you, colleagues and dependants, know. It’s hard to come out of the chrysalis, when you know there may be danger and threat awaiting.
You would probably benefit from a period of time alone to reassess all this. Perhaps not being physically away, but away from your everyday commitments, some kind of sabbatical from work and family or both. You may have been considering this already. Allowing yourself for some time to indulge in more creative, less deadline-focused personal activities that you always put aside, could help you bring a sense of what and how to prioritise. Be more selfish and don’t fear the consequences. I think that you need more art and creativity in your life and pursuits. Practising something creative. You have wanted to do this, or maybe you already do it, but you need to give it more importance in your life.
This tender, a bit dreamy other you (and I’m aware that I may be polarising is a bit too much), is an interesting mix of fresh amateurish and great potential to become a very rewarding force in you. It could, potentially, steer your pursuits into unchartered territories. This is both very appealing, but also daunting. You must let it out progressively, integrating into your more established life and interests. You can’t, and shouldn’t change overnight.
One of the problems of starting to express what may seem to others as anew side of you, is that you think that, you are going to antagonise others, who might feel abandoned or let down, and lose allies. The danger is in your own head: there may be a truth in there, but it’s not something that you can’t navigate successfully. You know when we fear doing something, but then we we finally do it, it’s not as bad as we feared. You may be over thinking things, even catastrophising.
In a few words: the challenge I see at the moment, is of giving yourself a chance to explore your other needs and interests, without fear of letting others down or compromising your credibility. This need to actualise yourself won’t ease, in any case, it’s been there for a while, like a dull pain that we get used to. The only way to resolve it, is by gradually, slowly, giving yourself more time and space for less conventional or explored pursuits, on your own, away from other people’s approval. To integrate it into your life and current persona. You need only your own approval now, nobody else’s, because this is a major part of you that you have already defended or fought for. There will be more fighting for it, but it will make you feel more authentic and content, once you accept yourself.
Wow. this is really very resonant! I’m going to process it a bit. You’ve captured a whole range of things there! I’m going to have to work on getting my head together! It is really very true to a lot of my recent experiences and the ways I’ve been feeling! I need to think about it a bit more but I’ll give you more feedback after that! Cx
Little Sunday Love reading – I gave a good friend, a free bonus short reading. To thank her for her support and valuable feedback. She wanted to know about her love life. Here are the cards I drew:
Md left: The Lovers – past/leaving influences.
Md: Strength – The Querent herself.
Md Right: 7 of Wands – Near future actions & energies already in development.
Bottom card: 5 of Cups, reversed – her foundation, deeper values, where she comes from mentally.
Top card: The Star – the Outcome, overall direction, long term future.
I see a very confident woman who is very sexual and not afraid of going for what she wants and what works for her sexually/romantically (Strength). You are currently on an exploration, and adventure and expansion (The Lovers), and the only small shadow I see, is that Seven of Wands suggesting that sometimes, you find yourself wasting energy proving to others that you are strong and confident. It’s as if there people you meet, who want to undermine your sexual confidence. But this isn’t a tragedy. Some people challenge you, trying to find your weaker points. Men may find it hard to believe that you are truly independent, assertive and secure in your own sexuality. You come across as masculine and active in your approach and are not afraid to initiate things, but the kind of men you meet often feel threatened by this (Strength, represented by a fearless woman). These are people whose lives and expectations are very different from yours, probably more conventional and judgemental of your freedom and courage . They aren’t the type of men that would suit you for a long term relationship. They offer a world that you have already left. You will let them behind, because you are already leaving that world (5 of Cups reversed, representing energies at the bottom, ditching a lifestyle and values that no longer work for you).
You have arrived to your current state of confidence and awareness, through trial and error. A long path of abandoning past patterns and people, and working out what does not work for you. These days, you act fast: if somebody doesn’t feel right, you leave immediately without attachment (5 of Cups).
Your confidence in yourself as a sexual being is part of your sense of self-awareness, part of a continuum: your ideals, your outlook in life, your principles. For this reason, as you progress towards a more self-aware and authentic you , your relationships will be more satisfying and rewarding, more in tune with who you really are. You will stop feeling that you have to conceal the real you from the men you meet. Even in casual relationships, there will be a clarity about what they offer, and you are confident enough to enjoy what they bring, and discard what doesn’t work, without drama (The Star). I see you wasting very little time in explanations, recrimination, bitterness or embroils. You are a free spirit, but many men that you meet now, often don’t appreciate this and challenge your confidence (7 of Wands).
Beware of people around you, maybe other female so-called friends, but they could be male too, who want to compete with you or who will try to put potential lovers off you. They might try to persuade others that your independence and confidence are a bad thing. Obviously, it will only put off the wrong people! (7 of Wands)
The overall impression I get, is that you are sailing smoothly without drama, and will continue to do so for a while. No deep emotions, no wild expectations, but many rewards (The Star). When you finally build a well established identity that represents you and brings the kind of life and environment that you want, it will bring like minded, suitable people to you, including lovers. It looks like you are putting a lot of passion an energy in defining yourself and your world in your own terms (The Star).
So how is my relationship going? What am i doing right/wrong? – Many thanks and apologies for using a card spread I found on my feed last night. I’d love to credit the creator, but I lost her in a sea of other people’s posts. So thank you, anonymous card reader and creator of this spread, because it gave me much food for thought that I’d like to share.
I thought it looked like a good one to try, when people come to me wanting a quick “check up” of their romantic relationship, reassurance, or feel that something in their relationship is bugging them, but can’t put the finger on it.
I used the wonderful Science Tarot, a deck that interprets the cards’ meanings into natural phenomena and scientific finds. Let’s get started!
Question: How is my relationship going?
I believe that the cards tell you what you already know, but can’t see because it’s to close and personal to see things clearly, or you simply, we don’t want to see. It doesn’t show anything that isn’t there )including, in my opinion, inevitable future outcomes).
Card no. 1, the Querent, shows somebody who has a very active role in this relationship. They are full of ideas and often take the lead
Card no. 2, the Querent’s partner, tells me that this partner is very busy with work and that may not be giving them the chance to explore their relationship more. The Querent’s represented by the Knight of Swords also suggests that they are aware of it, and trying to find a solution to this. I suspect that the Querent’s partner, too busy with work, is not really aware of this. But the Querent can and will talk about this – the Knight of Swords is good at communication, and one of the few cards in the Suit o Swords, with a positive meaning: the gift of communication through and clear thinking.
The crunch, the lesson to pay attention to, is on cards nos. 3 & 4, there is the crunch. At first glance, the meanings seem reversed. But there is no room for mistakes in the Tarot: cards appear on a given place for a reason. The reason is normally to make you think and ponder!
Card no. 3, the Ten of Cups reversed, points at what the Querent is doing well. Odd, to get this card reversed. Remember how the Rider-Waite deck shows a family rejoicing in their safety and achievements, the beautiful children, the safe home, the feeling of “having made it”? So what is this card warning the Querent? My guess is that the Querent is succeeding, not without working at it, to see ans appreciate their relationship’s finer points, to accept what is good, despite perhaps an innate tendency to catastrophise, to have faith in the relationship despite the current situation where their partner’s busy life might be making them feel abandoned. I suggest to go back to the first card, the Knight of Swords, and don’t fear articulate these fears to their partner. The Querent has the gift of the word, use it.
Card no. 4 shows what the Querent MIGHT be doing not so well. The Six of Cups is a normally warm, reassuring card, meaning nostalgia, comfort ( I always think of comfort food); a return to the known and trusted; safety. This may indicate a fear of conflict, a difficulty to stir things up. It may be comfortable to endure a feeling of abandonment or neglect by telling oneself that they are being paranoid, but there is risk of silencing a legitimate nag. Also, by not talking and leaving things as they are, not stirring the pot, they may be mollycoddling their partner a little. The Six of Cups has a feeling of mollycoddling, spoiling or being too lenient. If it bothers you, say it: people aren’t going to read your mind (Tarot readers are there to do that 🙂 ).
i wish more people said that being single is normal
and you’re not going to meet and marry someone
and that’s fine
and if marriage happens, it happens. and it’s not the next big ticket to check off in life’s checklist
because not everyone meets someone they want to marry. and that’s normal
you’re not broken or unfulfilled if you are single
Being single means you’re not so desperate to be paired that you’ll be in a relationship regardless of your own needs or desires, and I 100% support people who choose to be single, whether it’s because you haven’t found someone who fits with you or because you don’t want to date at all, either right now or ever.
You do not need to be in a romantic relationship to be complete. You are already complete.
Tumblr, I haven’t seen any good posts about my history girlfriend, so I think you should know about her so you can love her too. This sassy cutie right here is Pamela “Pixie” Colman Smith.
• She is best known for being the artist of the Rider-Waite tarot deck, the most famous and widely sold deck in the world, a job for which she got practically no credit and “very little money,” in her words (she died penniless while Waite made bundles)
• Waite, the “designer” (tarot scholar that commissioned it) was very condescending and exacting about how he wanted the major arcana done (even though she ignored him sometimes anyway; they were on a tight schedule and she’d send him fully inked and watercolored designs without his approval so they didn’t have time to redo them). But Waite turned up his nose at using the tarot for divination rather than as a spiritual guide, so he didn’t really give a shit about the minor arcana
• The designs for those are therefore p much all her, inspired by the 15th century Sola Busca deck (the only other one at that point to feature fully illustrated pip cards) which was on display at a museum near her while she was working on the project
• I’ll pause to allow you to imagine her making trip after trip to the museum with her sketchbook, studying the cards and chewing on her pencil. You in love yet? Just wait
• She was a synesthete who would listen to classical music and draw beautiful “spiritual portraits” of the music
• She was a suffragette, and drew feminist political cartoons
• She was an actress and set designer for a while; you can see the inspiration in many of the stage-like cards in her tarot deck
• She was best bros with cool people like Edith Craig, WB Yeats, and Bram Stoker
• Although she faced a lot of condescension from the men around her since they considered visual art a much less valid and sophisticated form of spiritual and intellectual pursuits, she was by all accounts very smart and wickedly funny, and ridiculously sweet and kind
• She was almost definitely super gay (had a very gay social circle, never married, lived alone with another woman for years)
• In conclusion you should all love her and we should call it the Smith deck and not the Waite, thank you and goodnight
She was also a woman of color. (Her father I believe was English and her mother was Jamaican) let’s not omit that.